Wednesday, March 11, 2009

13th times a charm.

Some days its a struggle to breath, to keep giving to keep moving. But I'm trying to be that person you want me to be. I want to wake up early in the morning and spend time with you, I want to work before my family rises making sure things are taken care of. I want to be diligent to do what you ask of me, but I keep slipping up, forgetting the promises. I keep giving into what this world expects and the norms they require of me. I want to live differently, walk differently, love without holding back. But we're all selfish, vain, cynical, and jaded from hurtful experiences in this life
- so some days to love without reserve is nearly impossible.

I want to pick that transvestite man off the ground who just fell of his bicycle and hold him till he's sober. I want to listen to that gang member that was sexually abused as a child, and sees no future for himself.
I want to encourage and empower a generation of women to rise above medias standards for us, and become the self respecting brilliant humans God longs for us to be.
I want to stand in front of the child who gets beaten daily and protect her from pain and suffering
I want to shelter those who have no home, and love them till they can find two feet to stand on.

I want to become the person God longs for me to become - but today I lay in bed selfishly longing for someone to hold me.

again, I find the strength to get out of bed pull myself together and try to be better.


Alexis said...

- so somedays to love without reserve is nearly impossible.

Such as good line. You're incredible. I wish you could see you the way I see you, because you would be astonished.

I love you.

Jessica said...

14th times a charm. start all over, pick myself up off the ground . . . and start again down the path of wisdom.