Thinking this season Part dos

This year, 2010 I am starting over again. Press reset, I want to begin a new chapter.

try not to:

fall into sin
be gluttonous
be too selfish
fall too hard
procrastinate
ignore friends
be in the pain
love too little
sell myself short
save adventures for another day


forget my list.

Thinking this season Part uno

I am thinking that I'd like to give up all the congestion of life, live in a rural village where nothing else matters but the simplicity of life.

My new years resolution is to simplify my life. Make decisions easier, take life as it comes, love those who are put before me, care deeply for those who simply have no one, gain wisdom from those who have lived a life - or two, read what I must and enjoy what I want to, listen to music, and enjoy the simple beauty of the art that surrounds me.

I choose to be the best that I can be, I choose to be authentic in everything. Because my past does not dictate who I am.

love.

it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres.

This too shall pass.

yesterday was hard, and I was upset.
I left and cried, but then I got a phone call.
she asked to talk with me.
she described pain, fear, frustration, anger.
in a marriage I thought was full of love, kindness, and shelter it was suddenly full of sorrow.

I thought, sigh... Im glad. I thought, even though my anger is at full and my emotions are bankrupt, tomorrow is a new day.
A new day full of new potential, full of success, and the constant reminder that this too shall pass.



This too shall pass.
India Arie

I've achieved so much in life,
but I'm an amateur in love
My bank account is doing just fine
but my emotions are bankrupt


My body is nice and strong
but my heart is in a million pieces
When the sun is shining so am I
but when night falls, so do my tears


Sometimes the beat is so loud in my heart
that I can barely tell our voices apart
Sometimes the fear is so loud in my head
that I can barely hear what God says


but then I hear a whisper that this too shall pass
I hear the angels whisper that this too shall pass
my ancestors whisper that this day will one day be the past
so I walk in faith that this too shall pass


The one that loved me the most
turned around and hurt me the worst
Been doing my best to move on
but the pain just keeps singing me songs


My head and my heart are at war
cause love ain't happening the way I want it
Feel like I'm about to break down
can't hear the light at the end of the tunnel
is when I pray for healing in my heart
to be put back together what is torn apart
and I pray for quiet in my head
that I can hear clearly what GOD says
but then I hear a whisper that this too shall pass
I hear the angels whisper that this too shall pass
my ancestors whisper that this day will one day be the past
so I walk in faith that this too shall pass

All of a sudden I realized
that it only hurts worst to fight it
So I embrace my shadow and hold on to the morning light

this too shall pass...

I hear the angels whisper that trouble don't have to last always
I hear the angels whisper even the day after tomorrow will one day be yesterday
I hear my angels whisper
I hear my angels whisper
this too shall pass

half full.

the bad
-staying on task
-thinking I can't accomplish things well.
-Not having all my time to spend with hurting children.
-self worth.
-value.
-loving those who need to be loved, even though its hard.
-working so hard at school and not seeing the fruits
-mourning
-not loving Christmas
-distracting emails

the good
-unexpected good marks
-fantastic friends that encourage me
-brothers that know your serious this time
-laughter with great friends
-promise of a hope and a future
-a loving mother

If we're all honest, sometimes the bad outweighs the good, nonetheless - I'm incredibly thankful for the good.