Saturday, August 21, 2010

July 31st, 2010 - The truth

I laid on his bed tonight thinking "why am I here?". There was no reason for me to be there, but still I laid there staring at the screen trying not move in a way that would insinuate I wanted his affection. There's something intriguing about being close to a man, that I've never experienced before. I've never really been touched by someone who's loved me with his whole heart. I've never been held by a man who's known every part of me, and wanted to know more.

So I laid there listening to his meaningless words, his endless attempts to be physically closer to me - when emotionally we were strangers. There's nothing appealing about this moment to me. I kept thinking, this would be nice if I cared about him. So I politely said "no thanks" to his advances, and excused myself. Although he tried to force me, I stood my ground and left his apartment. On the way out I decided I would never lay on a mans bed again, unless he's asked my hand in marriage. I decided that I need to be persued, and although the wait is agony, its worth it.

The truth is, one day, when all is said and done, and the man I will spend the rest of my life with asks if he can kiss me, I will say yes, I've waited for you.

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