Monday, November 30, 2009

the moment.

the moment you begin to search for something is the moment its misplaced.
I find this with most things, I don't need/have use for something for so long, I see it in my drawer and think - why do I even have that.
I never wear it, where will I wear it?

But then, one day you wake up and think -
I'd like that thing,
I'd like to wear it,
and its gone.
The thing that your searching for is missing.
That thing in which you desire is gone from your life.

I feel the moment you stop searching for that thing, the moment you throw your hands up in the air and think - I've had it, I can't do this anymore.

Thats the moment you find it. You find yourself buried deep within the anguish frustration and pain.

You find love and mercy after you give up searching for something in your own strength.

Yesterday I gave up trying to figure out why people are terrible to one another and proclaim the love of God, I gave up trying to figure out why relationships hurt so much, I gave up trying to figure out the pain and sorrow some kids experience for no reason, I gave up trying to understand my own life - the purpose meaning and place.

Yesterday I gave up, and found love like no other.
I found peace, hope, and comfort in my heavenly father.
I found what I was actually looking for all along.

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