Thursday, May 14, 2009


   One thing I have learned this past year is that God is our healer no matter what, even if we have "unanswered prayers".  We as humans have these small minds that make this list as to what we want from God (a new car because we deserve it- check, more money because we tithe - check, a bigger house because the other family in church has one - check, healing from any physical ailment in our bodies - check?)

   My father had cancer for 5 years, and I prayed off and on for his healing - maybe it was my lack of faith that allowed him to pass away, or .......maybe my father was healed and my prayers were answered?  Why do we ask for healing and then expect it will be on this earth?  Now thats a skeptical way of looking at healing -- but is it?  God healed my father in the most amazing way possible - emotionally, physically, spiritually, etc.. He brought him to a place where no more hurt would be felt, no more pain would be inflicted!.. and im glad for that.  

Now shifting views towards a man that many christians judge and hold disgust for.  Michael Guglimucci. (,25197,24216087-5006787,00.html)
He wrote the song Healer, which I think is one of the most amazing songs ever written!
Although recently it came out that he had falsely admitted he had terminal cancer.  This was HUGE in Aussieland because he lead a church of large masses, and his song was featured on hillsong's reccent cd/dvd.  

   There was a huge uproar when it was found that he didn't have cancer - ever.  Churches in North Amercia stopped singing his song.. what?.. we what?  Why in the world would we stop singing a song that was obviously from God?  This is a serious example of how God uses those who are broken weary, leaning on God because they are DESPERATE.  This man wrote a song that he obviously believed in, even though he did not struggle with cancer - he did struggle with an addiction to porn, and mental illness.  He felt that he couldn't come out and speak about it because He would be looked down upon.. wow.  

    What has our church come to, that we cannot be honest with one another?, we can't share our struggles?  Its because we as christians are so judgmental - ie: when we stopped singing this song.  We didn't pull the story out of the bible about Rahab (who was a prostitute- living in sin), we read it and ponder on it often thinking.. "God can use anyone, at any point in their lives".  I am thankful that Mike Gugglimucci's secret was found out, so that he can be held accountable, but also be loved by people.  I understand as a leader he was responsible for many people's lives, and many people were hurt by his lies - but why do we put men upon pedestals?  

   I think about this man constantly, and remember that we are all capable of sinning and allowing it to get so big that it causes people to feel hurt.  But it also reminds me to be honest with my friends and family about what Im going through, what struggles Im having.  I am hoping that one day a man can be allowed to write a song in the church about being healed from pornography and it be ok with church leaders and christians alike.  This is where hypocricy comes from, many christians and faith believing people do not talk about their struggles, we christians are perceived as perfect, without sin.  We are all sinful and fall short, this does not justify living in sin, but it does mean we have to be transparent and discuss what we are struggling with.  When things like mikes struggle with lying and porn comes out we are all shocked as if we don't sin daily?... 

I remember attending church the sunday after my dad passed, with my arms raised as high as i could singing healer as loud as I could.  My father had been healed, Mike Gugglimucci is in the process of being healed, and I am trying to be transparent and honest with my family and friends daily so that I'm not wearing my christian mask. 


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