Friday, May 1, 2009

day by day,

sometimes I find myself lost amongst the business of this life.  When I slow down I realize, I am not who I truly could be, or should be.

Am I really who I portray myself to be in all instances of my life? or am a some version of myself with every different group and every different situation. 

I used to think that being a camelian was a good thing, fitting in every situation - just being yourself but altering moods/thoughts to fit into any group.  Its good to be flexible, but to change?

I am still trying to find my way ... still trying to live this life independently so I can prove to myself I can, and become a stronger person.  Some days i try and rely on myself, those are the days I fall, fumble and break down.  Day after day I wake up, make mistakes, ask forgiveness, go to sleep and start all over again.  I have a tendency to look ahead too far, to not stay in the moment God has put me in.  But today, just for today I am going to stay in this moment, be who I truly am, without apologizing, and tomorrow wake up and try it all over again.

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