4 months later.

I've been home now for almost 4 months.. longer than I was away. Its so odd, how you can be physically far away from a place, but still feel it so close. When I came home, I was angry. More so than Ive been in years, angry about the past, angry that my father was gone, angry that I still lived at home, and angry that I have to be separated from all that my heart desired. For this entire semester I have been dealing with this anger, from mourning, from life. I would say "at least I know and can recognize im angry" to friends that would ask and question it.

Im no longer scared of being in this place, scared of being without my father and on my own (in a way). The loneliness I felt coming home was one of mystery, I couldn't put my finger on it... but it was as if I was leaving an environment where the love God had put within me for others could be poured out into the streets, into the hearts of the lonely and hurting. It was a place where my arms were outstretched continuously.

When I came home I had changed, and some noticed, others didn't. But I noticed within myself the battle between complacency vs action to change injustice.

I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.” Helen Keller